No Means No: When Abuse Follows Women to Work

@Peter McKenna

A post that stopped me in my tracks

A post from a few years ago appeared on my Facebook feed this week. A woman, writing on the day the man who raped her was convicted, was finally able to speak after nearly two years of being unable to tell her story publicly.

I have read many difficult accounts through the work I do. This one stayed with me because almost everything she described before the attack is something that could happen to a woman in our industry tomorrow.

It was all there: being followed, being watched, being confronted at work and being threatened to prevent her from leaving.

I am not naming her or sharing identifying details. Survivors of sexual offences in the UK have lifelong anonymity, and that choice is theirs to make, not mine. What I want to do is share what her experience teaches the rest of us.

What coercive control actually looks like

She tried to end the relationship many times. Each time, he refused to accept it was over.

He sat outside her home, in her back garden and at the bus stop opposite her house. He waited outside her workplaces until she finished her shifts and walked in asking who she worked with.

When he was not there in person, he was calling, texting and accusing her of seeing other men.

When she blocked him, he turned up and threatened to take his own life.

Whether genuine, manipulative or both, threatening suicide can place an unbearable responsibility on the victim. They should not have to manage that risk alone.

Her friends told her to be strong and get rid of him. That advice was well intentioned, but it misses how this works.

Coercive control and stalking are designed to make leaving dangerous and exhausting. They are serious matters in their own right, not simply the signs of a bad relationship.

Silenced while the case was being built

After she reported him, his family and friends told people she was lying. They suggested she had made it up after being rejected.

People even tried to intimidate her in the supermarket.

All the while, she could not answer back because speaking publicly could have compromised the case the police and Crown Prosecution Service were building.

She then stood in a witness box for nearly two hours being cross-examined, while he pulled faces at her from the dock.

A unanimous jury found him guilty. Only then could she tell her story.

Think about what that means.

Somewhere in your workforce, there may be someone carrying this experience right now, unable to explain why they are struggling, while rumours circulate around them.

We will not always know what someone is going through. That is precisely why the way we respond matters.

Why this matters in transport

Our industry can make women particularly easy to locate.

Shift patterns are predictable. Depots, yards and transport offices have fixed locations. Vehicles can be tracked, and regular routes, delivery points and parking places can become familiar to someone who intends to cause harm.

An abuser turning up at the depot entrance or a truck stop is not simply a personal matter left at home. It becomes a workplace safety issue.

The same applies to persistent calls and messages to a driver behind the wheel, creating an additional distraction risk.

Women still make up a relatively small proportion of our driving and transport workforce.

If we want more women to join and remain in this industry, they need to know that their employers and colleagues will take these situations seriously. They should never be made to feel that keeping quiet is the price of avoiding trouble.

What we can all do

Three weeks before the attack, she had used Clare's Law to ask the police about him.

The response came on the day she attended to give her video interview. There was information to disclose.

It came too late for her, but Clare's Law remains an important tool for anyone concerned about a current or former partner's history of abusive behaviour.

If you are worried about a partner

• Clare's Law: The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme allows you to ask the police whether a current or former partner has a history of abusive behaviour. A friend or family member can also make an enquiry on someone's behalf. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own arrangements.

• If you are in immediate danger, call 999. Do not wait for a disclosure.

• Keep messages, voice notes and a record of incidents. In her case, his own messages helped secure his conviction. If you are a colleague

• Believe her. Disbelief, gossip and judgement can cause enormous additional harm.

• Never give out someone's shift times, routes or whereabouts to a caller, however friendly or convincing they may sound.

• If someone unfamiliar is hanging around the yard, depot or entrance, report it.

• Respect confidentiality. Do not turn someone's personal circumstances into workplace gossip. If you are an employer or manager

• Have a clear domestic abuse and stalking policy, and make sure employees know it exists.

• Offer practical safety measures, such as changed shifts or routes, alternative starting locations, screened telephone calls and someone accompanying an employee to their vehicle.

• Brief gatehouse and reception staff on what to do if a named individual turns up.

• Take reports seriously and handle them sensitively.

• Remember your legal responsibilities to prevent sexual harassment at work. An employee's safety and wellbeing do not stop being your concern when they leave the depot.

Where to get help

She ended her post by thanking the police officers, the Crown Prosecution Service, her barrister and the jury who believed her.

Her message to anyone else experiencing abuse was simple: speak up and get help.

DriverWell: Supporting women in transport

DriverWell's Women in Transport section is free for every driver and transport worker. It provides access to information, wellbeing resources and signposting to specialist support.

The Women's Association of Trucking UK & Ireland is also working to build a network where women in our industry can find each other, share experiences and have their voices heard.

We need an industry where women feel safe, supported and respected, whether they are behind the wheel, working in a transport office, managing a depot or working anywhere across the wider logistics and transport sector.

No means no.

At home. At work. In the depot. In the cab. Everywhere.

Nobody has the right to follow, intimidate, control, threaten or sexually assault another person.

And nobody should have to face that alone.

DriverWell | Supporting the wellbeing of transport workers

Professional Drivers Support Network (PDSN)